What I’ve learned about Social Anxiety
August 14, 2007, 08:47 PM
I learned that SA isn’t just fearing social activities. It’s, also, about the fear of making a phone call, not walking outdoors, or go to the mailbox for fear of seeing a neighbor who wants to say hello. Fear of being called upon in class for an answer or to read out of a book or even to write something on the blackboard. How I remember those days. A job interview is unthinkable. I may answer wrong. Having guests for dinner is impossible. The thought of the house not being perfect and the meal being unacceptable is horrible. Overnight guests are more than unthinkable. Making decisions about social events is just as hard. Others may not be satisfied with my ideas or time of event. I’d rather go alone than to ask someone for fear they would think my choice is dumb or they wouldn’t enjoy themselves.
Another fear is people who are “authority figures” such as teachers, bosses, lawyers, supervisors. However, the social phobia person wants to please others. I’m always there when called upon, but the key words are “called upon”. Others have to ask, otherwise I’d fear that I’d be interfering or be in the way. My offer being rejected would haunt me forever. People have gotten angry at me because I didn’t just go to them. I’ve learned that all these personality traits that I’ve been living with all my life is SAD. I didn’t start out with this diagnosis but it sure describes me perfectly. There are positive traits that can come from all the negativities such as we make great friends. I’m easy to get along with because I’ll do most anything or go anywhere that’s suggested. I am always there when called upon. I’ll pay for your dinner rather then make it. I’m a great listener, sensitive and sympathetic. I’ve learned that being older and experienced with SAD is a good thing as I’ve learned to say “no” and don’t allow people to take advantage of me because I’m so eager to please. I hope what I learned will help you to learn.
