Shame
September 21, 2007, 06:51 PM
I myself, started to write something about shame, self-esteem in a blog, but I think it could help more in this area, at least I hope.
Shame: I've had shame most of my life, now it's...........Why.......There is NOTHING I can do, nothing I can do to change a given situation, and, chances are, I didn't do "It" alone. I'm NOT happy with the school my daughter attends, it's a very small town, I've had some, let's just say affairs in the area (chuckle) and I felt shame.....Then I thought, so what.........Really, so what........I live here too, this is my area, this is where my daughter is going to school.
Then I asked myself "Is there any truth to the gossip" yes there is........Will people color coat it to make them appear the victim, yes, they will, to a large degree this is human nature, well, I'm seeing people find a way to put things in compartments in order to function in life, this is what I'm starting to do.......Shame....Now........I'm holding my head high. Being ashamed of an action, we ALL make mistakes ALL of us. I've heard so often "He she brought this on themselves" well, again, we all make mistakes, that's why some of us need a hand up, we all bring things on ourselves, I'm talking poor choices and such, it happens SO WHAT. For those concerned about not being good enough, good enough for whom? I think we have to learn to accept ourselves for who we are RIGHT NOW, accepting doesn't mean we can't improve, but, this is where we are at this time, this is who we are, we can't change anything in this second, accept it, make changes as you can.
People are going to talk? SO WHAT, again, is there any truth to what they're saying....We have to deal with the truth, there's nothing we can do about another's thoughts or gossip..........We make mistakes, are they making it worse than it is.....Talk about low self esteem;-) are they adding or coloring things, again, this is a reflection on them. WE know the TRUTH.
There's always "Their truth" and "Our Truth" when you deal in facts, and not emotions, the truth wins out (Think about it).
In the last 5 plus years, my life.....Changed drastically. When I was pregnant I moved home with my Mom, more people knew/know of me then I do of them, I'll hear someone say today "Is THAT the baby" yep..... Some people know the story behind her life, some don't agree, so what, fuck you, this is my life, they DON'T know me.
There will be some people that WILL think they're right about you, they won't waiver, given if it's in a negative manner, you know what.....While they're pointing the finger at you, there's three more pointing back at them. When some people have something made up in their mind, you can't confuse them with facts, they're going to think whatever they want, we CANT change/ or control it.......We have to know in our hearts that it's not true.
Self acceptance.......This is who I am right now, warts and all, I'm going to function in the world, the best I can RIGHT now.......I'm going to make mistakes, so what.....Hopefully I'll learn......Listen to that inner voice.........But, for the time being........I'm going to hold my head up high..... "Let Them Eat Cake."
